Broken heart....and broken body.

Last week, on this day, my life changed. Let me tell you about it...

wed night around 9pm: that's when it all starts. Very, very sick...and off to the ER we go.

tests, tests, and more tests.

my husband so scared.

me...not with it at all, so not aware of whats happening.

Thursday at 5am: starting to get some scary tests results back.

1. we don't have a heartbeat on the baby.

2. my white blood count is thru the roof...which means major infection in my body

3. Priesthood blessings to keep me calm and safe

7am: I am bleeding internally. Not sure where this is coming from.

My husband, so so scared. but by my side every single second.

9am: another ultra sound and more tests

11:00: Dr's still trying to figure out whats going on....I'm getting worse and worse.

everyone can see it. I can't talk, I can't open my eyes, I can hardly breathe.

12:00: A radiologist, internal Dr, and my OB meet.

that is when they discover, after looking over all my tests and ultra sounds what is happening.

a few minutes later....

many Dr's in my room, papers being thrown at Jason to sign, prepping me for emergency surgery.

Another priesthood blessing, on the way to the OR. Thank you Dad.

I am pregnant with twins. One is stuck in my Fallopian tube...which burst and is causing internal bleeding. Which, at this point I am bleeding to death.

I lost 2500cc of blood in surgery....1/2 of my bodies blood.

Huge blood transfusion performed, and I'm alive.

I was watched over every second....I know this. I'm so very very grateful.

While my heart and body are broken, I'm still here for my kids and for Jason.

I am now home from a long hospital stay.....and so happy.

Thank you all for your prayers, phone calls, texts, flowers, dinners, etc etc.

I love you all.

These 3 are excited to announce that they are going to be big helpers to mommy come this fall....baby #4 is keeping mommy very sick and tired, so we are trying to be the best that we can be. We are also trying to teach Carson how to go potty on the toilet, and hope he can do this by the time the baby comes.

So blessed to have these people in my life....

so extremely blessed.

Who else spent their Valentine's night watching this?!?!

Well, my shift for work got cut at the last second last night, so Jason and I didn't have any big plans set....so, of course we curled up and watched our favorite show!! Yes, Jason watches every week!

So..a few thing about last night.

1. The location...that was amazing!

2. Shawntel's date...i really like her.

3. Emily...she is pretty, but seriously is anyone else a little board with her?

4. Chantal...I'm SO tired of her. I mean, yes she is "in love" with him, but come on, your not the only one there...so stop crying every time he shows interest in somebody else.

5. Ashley...i don't know. I have never really been a huge fan of hers, so I'm fine if she goes home next.

6. Michelle....thanks for making this season so dang entertaining!!! It's pretty funny to watch a friend on this kind of show...and acting totally nuts! its been hilarious to me!! And I know everyone thinks she is Crazy, which is exactly the way she was acting, but really, in true life she really isn't even close to that. So....with that said, I will personally miss watching her.

How do I love thee by LDS leader Elder Holland

Happy Love Week

BEST January EVER!!!!!

We had a wonderful vacation....except for the flu coming to visit and hitting Carson first, then Kylie, then Jason. The kids loved every second of the trip...here is Part 1. We spent 5 days in Anaheim, then 5 days in Coronado. The weather was in the high 70's, some days 80. Could not have been more perfect.

We are hitting the road and headed to Disneyland....warm weather here we come!!!!