thank you...thank you...thank you...

• i wanted to update all of you, per requests and let you know how we are doing. Where do i start. I had my d&c Friday, which went really well. Jason left for the weekend to the us open so i stayed at my moms, bless her heart, and she and my dad watched my kids while i slept and took it really easy. i have had a hard recovery, alot harder than i thought. the recovery is very similar to having a baby, cramping, bleeding, my milk trying to come in, very tired, etc. i talked to my Dr Monday and he said i should start feeling better this week, and if anything changes for the worse to call him. well, then yesterday came (wed.) and that's when things got bad again. i had just got Jake home from swimming and was getting out of the car. i wont be to graphic don't worry, but as i got out of the car i started bleeding uncontrollably. i left my kids in the car, ran in the house, sat on the toilet and at that point i was loosing alot of blood and hemorrhaging very bad. i called my mom, who was at my house in less than a minute. she got me in the car and rushed me to the er. after 4hours, an iv, lots of meds, they got my bleeding under control and thank goodness i got to come home. there was talk of taking me back into surgery if this certain pill didn't work, which thank goodness its working. it makes my uterus contract (no fun!!) and stops the heavy bleeding. even through all of this hell i feel so blessed. blessed that my mom lives so close and was able to take such great care of me and my little ones, blessed that my in-laws live so close and also take such great care, blessed to have such wonderful friends, blessed to have 2 sweet kids and most blessed to have a really loving and caring husband. this has been the hardest thing i have ever gone through, but i have gotten through it with love and support and i thank you. i hope I'm at the end of the road and have no more complications and can head out to California next week and just sit and look at the ocean!! hooray

• now to answer questions about my sweet little Jacob and how he is handling all of this. well as many of you know Jacob was so excited to have another baby. when Jason told him what was going on with the baby and mommy he just sat there. he looked at us and said "but i really wanted 3 kids!! why is the baby back with heavenly father. how long will it take for heavenly father to bless the baby and get it back in Mommy's tummy. what holiday will the baby come on now (i was due Christmas day)." He just went on and on. he is doing better now but still says he is sad and hopes we will still have 3 kids.

• anyway, I'm sorry for the long post, it was suppose to be alot shorter than this until yest.!! anyway, thanks again for all your love.